Still

March 17, 2014

It's so crazy to reflect and think about how much I've really changed in the past few months. It has definitely been an insane rollercoaster ride - and everyday I wake up feeling truly brand new. 

4 months back I would have never thought of cherishing relationships of any kind, and never quite understood friendship... I never thought I would have anyone true. 
4 months back I would have never forced myself to wake up for church on Sundays with my family... I took that special time together for granted and preferred to spend my Saturday nights having too much fun with bad habits I am so glad I'm rid of. 
4 months back I did nothing but complained to everyone willing to listen and felt sorry for myself all the time with the crazy school workload and mishaps, like falling ill and falling down, that I am so prone to.

And now I wake up thankful to even be alive, and for all I have. I must've done something right in my previous life cos I am truly blessed with all the love and care showered upon me every single day. I thought I would spend my nights feeling upset and lonely, but I haven't had a night like that. I thought I would skip every single day of school, but I've never worked harder in all my time in Lasalle.

I recently injured my neck and although till now I can't move with ease, I'm thankful I'm so much better as compared to Friday when I couldn't even turn left or look down/up at all. 
Although I have so much work to do and this bad neck is getting in the way of it all (can't hold an SLR and take pictures like I planned to cos it really hurts) I've worked out the things I can do without the use of my neck muscles and I've got them done.
I also just had to turn down a sponsored trip to Korea cos of school, which is sad, but I know it's going to be all worth it in the end and I'm so excited for life after graduation!

And yes, I REALLY never thought I'd say this (TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS COS I PRETTY MUCH DIDN'T PRAY OR EVEN BELIEVE IN GOD FOR MAYBE 2 YEARS...) , but with the help of the very special people around me.. I've gone back to Him, whom I've neglected for way too long and have even blamed for the bad stuff that happened. Now I see that He's never left me and none of the bad stuff can really get to me because I have him on my side.
Letting go and letting God must be the best choice I've ever made and I am forever grateful for his grace.

"When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God"

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