Reality Check

August 6, 2014

Currently working on my Mulia Bali blogpost/vlog and I really hope everyone can gimme a lil time as I'm using a new video editor and learning how to use it from scratch! 
Meanwhile, here's a post on something more personal, non fashion/beauty/food/outing related, nothing paid.

I've been shying away from posting about my personal life for a long time, as I'm sure you readers who have been following my blog or instagram for a long time would have noticed. The reason is simple - I do wanna keep my private life private for I have first-handedly experienced what the consequences are when I don't. It is not about me, but protecting the people I love and care about. I can take the hate, the amount of people judging me, because it is part of my job to and something I gotta accept. But it is not their responsibility and simply unfair for them to have to accept too, no matter how willing they are to.

I came across this article recently HERE, and I think it's so so true and worth sharing :

"I met up with a girlfriend a week ago and we started chatting about Facebook. She has eclectic tastes and would really like to share those tastes with other people on Facebook, but felt like she knew she would be judged for it.
So, rather than restricting her privacy settings, she chose to stop posting.

I have another friend who likes to be open about his likes and dislikes on Facebook. He has two different Facebook accounts: one filled with lewd comments and photos of women and another that is quiet, respectable and clean.
Both of these individuals have tastes that aren’t “normal,” according to the socialized definition of what that means, and both have chosen different ways to share (or not) on social media.

It’s interesting to see how different people control what they do and don’t share on their social media networks of choice. You can usually tell a lot about people’s likes and dislikes from the stuff they post online and can make judgments based on it.
For example, you could learn a bit about me from my social media networks: I’m spiritual; I love yoga; I want to be greener; I believe in frugality and minimalism; I love to travel. I am interested in self-improvement.
I also believe that there is a lot out there about the universe that is unexplained and that we don’t know even close to the extent of what exists.

What you wouldn’t find out from my social media postings is that I have an MBA, I love my family, I love wearing heels and I am an introvert.
The point of this is that although you might gather a lot of information from someone’s social media postings about his or her personality and interests, you will never get the whole picture.


You will never know what the person is truly like. I understand how easy it is to judge someone based solely on these posts, but if I, for example, didn’t know my girlfriend really well and just judged her from her online identity, I would believe her to be a religious fanatic.
If I didn’t know my guy friend really well, I would definitely assume he was a player who used girls for sex and didn’t care about their feelings.


Because I know both of these people fairly well, I know their social media personas aren’t the whole truth. Rather, they are just pages of information of what they choose to share.
Human beings are such multi-faceted people that you really cannot peg anyone’s identity from a few posts and photos. To do so would only provide you with a slight insight to the whole, big-picture identity.
There are days when I am pissed off at the world and I post all about how bleak the state of humanity looks.


If you caught my postings only on one of these particular days, you would likely take away a very bad impression that paints an untrue, disproportionate picture of who I am — you might even delete me from your social media network for life.


In case you haven’t yet figured it out, I don’t agree with judging someone on the basis of social media postings alone. I hope that you will take notice when you do so in the future and will step back to figure out a true analysis of the person’s life rather than just what someone posts online."

-

You truly cannot judge based on everything you see on someone online.
Everything you see is most likely edited and curated to the put them and their lifestyles in their best light and that is the truth.
Everyone wants to keep memories of their best moments, moments to look back on and be proud of. Moments that we can remember and look back at and smile at. 
Everyone has moments when they are down, and we don't see that because they don't share that.
BUT is it wrong?
NO.

So the next time you see that 'perfect' person online, on Instagram who seems to have it all - nice car, shoes, bags, fine dining everyday.. etc - and just makes you think of how much your life sucks in comparison - think again. Not all of it may be unreal, but not all of it may be real too.

-

Just to digress a lil from this post.. Today I received a screenshot a friend sent to me, of my 15 year old self being posted on some app that people can use anonymously, and I too was a little shocked at how different I look too! There were definitely a lot of nasty comments but I'm not gonna go there, we just have to accept that when people can hide behind an anonymous name they would say the most hurtful things

I'm talking about growing and changing. I would post it here to show you the difference but I wanna keep the look of my blog with my recent and best photos so I'm sure you'd see it if you follow me on all my social media platforms! All these rumours about plastic surgery, I've addressed it here time and time again, I've never done it. There is simply no time lapse in my blog to allow for surgery which obviously takes at least a month and more to recover from, if I had done it, I wouldn't be able to hide the swelling. Not that there is anything wrong with surgery ok! I'd do it if not for how afraid I am of the idea of something permanent like that and how well aesthetic treatments already work for me.

What I have done, though - Braces, 2 years of accutane, Botox, Fillers, treatments with DRx, 6 years of growing up and learning to put on makeup properly.
Can I just say how much I love accutane and DRx and what they have done for me??!? Talking about my accutane journey would be a whole other long ass post so I suggest if you're interested, simply consult my doctor Yanni at DRx and she will tell you if you're suitable for it or not! Just fyi, it's not available just anywhere and not suitable for everyone.. it can cause a lot of bad side effects but if it works for you, like it did for me, it works WONDERS. And of course, all my treatments with DRx are here on my blog so scroll away!

Looking better is truly a choice - "no such thing as an ugly woman, only a lazy woman" - and it is also a choice, choosing to be beautiful on the inside
It is a choice to see your past as lessons and not regrets, and the future as something you have the power to look at in a positive light, and change. 

For me, being a blogger especially, I have many pictures/quotes of myself online, some flattering and very, very unflattering as well, archived for everyone to see and to judge. But I've never hid any of my old pictures nor made them private - and the reason why is simple, too. I like looking back and seeing how much I've grown, and I'm not ashamed of my past at all no matter how ugly it was and I was and I'm proud to say that even when I made mistakes, I learnt from them and moved on, always wanting to be better and better everyday. There's no point living in the past, you are the only person who can make your future brighter.

Someone close to me once told me this : When anything bad happens, take it as a lesson with an open heart and not as a regret. Never dwell on it.
 And I still live by this everyday.

x